So, the plumb line is a real life term used by contractors and builders but it also was referenced in the Bible. Basically, it is a cord with a metal weight attached to the bottom of it that is used to determine if a wall is perfectly vertical and in line. In the Bible they refer to the plumb line as a way to make sure we are "on the same page" as God. At least in as much as we are capable. I'm absolutely sure, after serving in youth ministry for 8 years, that I heard the story of the plumb line many times. But only now does it seem to be soaking in. And it keeps coming back to my mind again and again lately. I feel this aching desire to find my place "in line" with my Jesus. In all areas of my life.
But it sure ain't easy.
And like any area of faith, there is no formula. There is no step-by-step instruction booklet. You just kind of stumble your way along with the best intentions and hope you don't screw it all up too bad. For me, I rely heavily on my instincts. I learned to trust what I felt my heart was telling me years ago, somewhere between a dirt floor church in Indonesia and the stillness of the guest room at my mom's house several months later. And I don't know how to explain it. I don't know why those gut instincts almost always seem to be right. I don't know why God decided to show me how to tap into that. But I'm thankful for it. And I try to make sure I always listen and never take it for granted.
Can I share something that someone told me once? I was in Australia and a small group of people were praying over me. I was listening to their words but in my head I was somewhere else. I was doubtful, dismissive and really didn't want their prayers at the time. Afterwards, one of the people, a man no less than 250 pounds of muscle, came up to me with tears in his eyes. He said God had given him a vision while he was praying for me. In the vision I was standing in a large open space and there were people all around me going about their business. I opened my mouth to speak and a great flood of water came rushing out, washing over everything and when the water went out of the room everything was new and clean. He said that God was calling me to speak. Not in any formal sort of way. But from the heart. Without hesitation. He said God also wanted to warn me that sometimes the things I would have to say would not be well recieved. That there may even be people in my life that will no longer want me in theirs as a result of what He might ask me to say. But that I should do it anyway. And that I should not be afraid. Not afraid. Just obedient.
And it wasn't until that great big man made of muscle wrapped his arms around me for a hug that I knew he wasn't making it up.
And he was right. God was right. There were people in my life that just couldn't accept some of the things I said. But I remembered that warning to not let it silence me. And somehow I didn't. I found a voice much braver than my own and figured out a way to use it. And not once, not ever, have I apologized for it. I may still be learning much about my delivery but I could never apologize for the message itself. And I hope I never stop striving to make sure I'm "in line" with God.
And that may explain why posts like this one may randomly show up on this blog. Sometimes I have a sense of why, and sometimes I haven't the slightest clue except to think that maybe one person out there needed to read it. So I set aside my pride, my fear, my rights to any kind of reputation as being the girl who only ever has nice things to say. I shut up. And then I can really speak.
All that to say, don't ever apologize for the gifts God has given you. Don't feel like you're being prideful by claiming them. And if you don't feel like you have any gifts then please, please, please keep on seeking after them. You are a thing of great value. YOU ARE A THING OF GREAT VALUE. Sometimes it just takes time to see the things God has known all along.